I feel Death.........

Since I was young I always suffered from feeling death. Let me explain, I am pretty sure that I am not psychic but I always gotten feelings, mental thoughts of some sort of crucial moments, death, pain, anger. I can recall feeling pains in my stomach out of the blue like a cramping feeling, sure I thought gee could this be my period coming down, or do I have a stomach ache.... but it was never neither of those things. But as it continued I paid more attention to it and realized that I will end up getting into a arguement with my boyfriend or someone around me friend or family will suffer some pain of some sort. One time I was not speaking to my parents due to some major drama in my life, and I was living with my boyfriend and in the middle of the night I got this aora of sadness all i felt was pain, sadness and just cried and felt as though my dad was sick or was going to get sick. Oddly, enough my mother called me and told me that my dad had blood in his urine. Weird! Then I just knew that when I suffered through these types of things that usually it would come true. Later on, my first child was born sick and she later was put on a heart transplant list. I was called in and told that she got a heart so I came in to the hospital and saw my daughter. As I caressed her hair and looked at her she looked back at me and it felt as though she was talking through her eyes. In my heart it felt as though it was going to be the last time I would have seen her alive again. The nurses later took some pictures with her and my family members because of course my in laws stood home sleeping they didnt care to come and support her. I saw the paloriod of a picture that they took of her alone and she amazing enough raised her arm and signaled as if she was waving bye. I still have this photo. I say amazing because she was so weak from being in the hospital for months she did not have the energy to do that. But this day she did. Now I went home because the surgery was going to take all night. I could not sleep, I started to feel that weird feeling in my heart of sadness and cried. But at this point I did not know if it was just the scary part of her not coming out of the surgery alive or just that my baby would finally have a chance in living. The next day she was okay, I was like wow my feelings are falling off lol but within a few hours she began to crash. The doctors was treating her with some treatment to see but they only were going to do it for one day. THAT pain, sadness hit me like it never did before. Yes, my daughter was dying, yes this could have been another chance. But I never cried so much in my life, I felt death within me. I couldn't breathe keep in mind there was still a possibility. I told my husband this is it she isn't going to make it i feel it. Also through her life, I always had a feeling that she wasn't going to make it too long, this is why I hate my husband family. Because I pleaded and cried to them saying she could die at anytime but they sat back and did nothing. So my daughter died that morning. Honestly, I wish guilt on anyone that didn't spend time with my daughter when they could have, ask about her and so on. Yes I am still bitter. Yes I am still angry. But at the end of it all I had another of these feelings with one of my grandmothers. I saw her in the hospital and I quickly told my mom she was going to make it. I told my dad to prepare himself mentally that she wasn't going to make it. I just felt it. And she died the next day. Now, this saturday my puppy got really sick and again death overcame me and I felt so much pain before the doctor even told us that he was really sick and that he was going to be put to sleep. It is like when death is going to happen it over comes my body, emotions. I think about all this and say wow, is this possible? Can I feel death? Can I feel pain for others? The funny thing is that I would always say to my husband that I feel like I would die before him, he would get very angry with me that I would even think about this but its not that I think about it it comes to me. I once told him that I would probably die of some type of cancer. Just recently I found out that I have a big chance of having cancer in my ovaries. That they are not sure if it spread. Interesting isn't it!